Is This Thing Broken?

Okay...so I was really not looking forward to writing this blog. I told my mom as much at dinner last night. I did not weigh myself all weekend in anticipation that the scale would go way up thanks to my imprudent eating habits over the weekend. I was certainly expecting the worst. I didn't fall off the wagon, per se, but I did give myself much more leeway than I have been these past four weeks. I also did not write down anything over the weekend so I tried to remember today what I had eaten during the past four days...but you and I both know how well a mind that is nearly 40 works.

Friday I believe I skipped breakfast again...too busy (yeah, yeah, yeah). That day for lunch a friend/colleague of mine and I went out. We decided to go to a restaurant that's about 2 miles from the office, one we had meant to go to for the past three years but had never made it to (and incidentally will never go back to...not great). I was really hungry (since I hadn't eaten all day) and I ordered a turkey and Swiss sandwich. It had the regular fixings on it - lettuce, tomato...oh, and BBQ sauce and mayo, which I MEANT to get on the side and 86 the BBQ sauce all together but forgot. I chose cottage cheese as my side (and yes, french fries were an option). I drank water. The bread appeared to be "white" but had caraway seeds in it, which I despise...so I only ate the bread on one half. That night I met friends out for dinner at a restaurant that favors healthy fare. I ordered a vegetarian Caesar (they call it that because the dressing has no anchovies...it's a black olive dressing) and a wood-fired pizza that had red sauce, chicken sausage, mushrooms and fennel. It was delicious...ate three pieces and brought the rest home for my hubby. I had sparkling water despite the fact that one of my friends (the other wasn't drinking as she had an early race the next day) ordered a glass of red wine that looked simply divine. But I resisted. After dinner we took my son next door for ice milk - chocolate and vanilla with mini M & Ms...I had two bites.

Saturday I had half of a whole wheat English muffin for breakfast with about one TBSP of organic peanut butter and coffee. I didn't eat lunch but snacked on a banana and a huge glass of Pellegrino with lime...probably a few other small things too but my aged mind cannot recall at this point. That night was date night and my husband and I went to a steakhouse. I decided I would take the night off for all intents and purposes. First off, I ordered an orange slice martini. It was delicious! My hubby ordered a Long Island iced tea and his was so good that I ordered one after my martini. We shared it though and I only ended up drinking about a quarter of it. For an appetizer, we ordered the Mushrooms Neptune, which our 22-year-old waiter happily announced was their "signature" appetizer - mushrooms stuffed with crab and cream cheese...they were awesome! For my entree, I ordered a 7 oz. filet (the smallest on the menu) wrapped in bacon. The waiter imparted that this was the leanest cut of red meat they had...not that I asked. Great waiter BTW - why aren't there more like him?! Anyway, I could've gotten a baked potato (ho hum) but I opted for the twice-baked which was out of this world...worth each and every calorie. We did look at the dessert menu and although there were some winners on it, we decided against, which is a big deal for me...I am such a dessert person. My husband, on the other hand, could live without dessert for the rest of his life and be just fine. I felt satisfied though without it so I listened to my gut (pun intended) and informed the waiter that I had ingested my dessert before the meal (the orange slice martini).

The next day I was feeling somewhat guilty but let it go. After all, my husband and I don't go out much and when we do go out, we tend to hit Applebee's or something equally uninspiring. Hey, it's super loud in there...your two-year-old can yell as loudly as he wants and nobody will hear thanks to their cranked up 80's music. Sunday afternoon a girlfriend came over to lay out with me and was nice enough to bring us lunch. She brought turkey sandwiches (on white bread), cold pasta salad (my favorite) and fruit salad. And of course cookies (she had gotten Paradise Bakery....NOBODY can resist their cookies). The sandwich did have bacon on it but she didn't know if I wanted mayo or mustard so she ordered it dry figuring I could add my own. Normally I would've but I was so hungry that I ate half, sans mayo. I put the other half in the fridge. I had about three or four bites of pasta salad and ate the small cookie later that afternoon. I had LaCroix with it. That afternoon for a snack I also ate a banana. For dinner last night I had half of a small turkey burger, about four bites of my son's cheddar hamburger (no bun on either) and about half a cup of sweet potato fries. I baked them with a little salt, pepper and olive oil (no butter).

This morning I had coffee and half of a whole wheat pita with organic peanut butter for breakfast. I ate a banana for a mid-morning snack. For lunch I had a small, leftover turkey burger and about 12 cherry tomatoes. I was hungry again a few hours later and had 2 TBSP of organic peanut butter and a cup of fat free cocoa. I was craving chocolate and although it's not terrific, for 25 calories, it fills the void. For dinner tonight I had a salad with a few cherry tomatoes, some red onion and a small amount of shredded cheddar cheese. I had about 2 TBSPs of Light Hidden Valley Ranch on it. I also ate about 3/4 c. of whole wheat spaghetti with 1/2 c. of sauce (from the jar) and a sprinkling of Parmesan cheese.

Now...back to the weigh-in this morning. I braced myself as I stepped on the scale and fully expected to gain at least 2 lbs. But instead, I had lost 5 ounces. I have no idea how or why but I weighed myself again after my shower and the same weight appeared...163.3. Maybe it will catch up with me tonight or maybe I wasn't as bad as I really thought...? I don't know. But I do know this...as much as I veered from my regular "I'm on a big diet" diet, I still ate at least 80% better than I would've over the same weekend two months ago so I guess that's something.