Busted...

Sorry it has taken me a few days to get another post up. I have been busy sitting on the couch with a blank stare due to the lack energy I've had since beginning this diet. Ok, I'll be honest...I didn't have much energy beforehand.

I started the Sacred Heart diet on Saturday...which is basically fruit, vegetables and this disgusting soup that you make from chicken broth, veggies and a few potatoes. There really is no broth to speak of though...it's pretty gross. I only ate it three times and couldn't bring myself to do it again. Let me just stop right here and say that this is a cleanse diet and is only meant to be followed for 7 days. I know full well that this type of diet is not sustainable (even if you have some sick desire for it to be) therefore I only planned to do it for a week or two to jump start my weight loss. Now...back to the diet...you're supposed to get a baked potato - with BUTTER - for dinner that first night. Thank God. That's the only thing keeping me from eating an entire watermelon, which I would've paid for dearly later on (bananas are not allowed the first few days. Of course - the only fruit that can make you feel semi-full, if only for 20 minutes). I read the diet plan over quickly - mainly just to get a list for the grocery store. That first day I ate fruit and soup (that's all you get)...I had a pear, an apple, 3 tangerines and some of that soup. I was so looking forward to my baked potato all day! I was out that afternoon so I called home and had my husband put the potato in the oven so it would be ready for attack upon my arrival home. So I get home and quickly glance at the diet plan again (just to see if a piece of bread has somehow magically appeared beneath the baked potato) only to see that you don't get a potato until DAY 2! I was so starved, I ate the thing anyway...peels and all.

Sunday I had veggies - cut up peppers, cherry tomatoes and some more soup. I also had another (leftover) baked potato for lunch. Oh and a piece of pizza. I knew it was wrong but true to my past dieting indiscretions, I thought...how bad can one little piece of pizza be? It only has two slices of pepperoni for crying out loud. More on this later. Now, I know since I technically ate my potato on day 1 that I shouldn't have had another on day 2 but at this point I've already modified the diet slightly in my head (because that's what dieters do). Sunday night I had more veggies - more peppers and cherry tomatoes on a bed of spring mix and a chicken breast. Oh..and two or maybe four bites of my son's hamburger.

Monday I eat a banana, 3 tangerines and a pear in the morning. For lunch I have more cut up raw red, green and yellow peppers and cherry tomatoes with 3 TBSPs. of Light Hidden Valley Ranch to dip them in. I have an apple for a snack in the afternoon. Last night family was in town so we ate at my parents' house. I ate 5 pieces of asparagus, a pork chop and a small baked potato with a couple TBSPs of light sour cream (no butter). I did not eat the skins this time though as I was full.

Okay - this may not be all that interesting...hearing about what I've consumed the past three days but let me get to something that might be. Let me just say first that there aren't that many women at my office but all of the women there are perpetually on a diet of some sort. We talk about food often...about what we're eating or NOT eating, about how much we're exercising or NOT exercising, etc.

So yesterday morning a friend of mine at work comes up to my cube and is relaying a story about an acquaintance of hers (who she cannot stand) who claims to be dieting but cheats "all the time." I'm thinking right away....she doesn't sound like all THAT bad of a person...it's not a crime to cheat...is it? She says that she was at a mutual friend's child's birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese last weekend and this "acquaintance" was there. My friend goes on to tell me that when she went to A's wedding several years ago, she was about a size 10-12. Now three kids and some odd years later, she's about a 16-18. Hey, it happens. She says that A claims to be on a diet but proceeds to eat an ENTIRE SLICE of pizza, which gets me thinking about the piece of pizza I cheated with last weekend. I feel the need to defend A. I say, "I don't see how eating one piece of pizza is that detrimental to a diet. Better to cheat with ONE piece of pizza now that to eat an entire pizza a month from now when you snap." My friend semi-agrees with a shrug but says that A then proceeded to wash down the pizza with a cupcake. Okay - I can't really think of a defense for this, at least at the time of our conversation I couldn't. Of course I confessed that I too had eaten a piece of pizza last weekend despite my own diet...and only one day in, I might add. I'm telling you - complete honesty is my goal here. *sigh* I guess this is where I confess to taking that tiny little bite of SUGAR FREE dark chocolate almond bark on Saturday afternoon. Don't worry - my head hangs low as I write this.

But I've had some time to think about it. And though I may not be able to defend poor A's decision to eat a cupcake on her diet (after all that's just pure sugar and empty calories...at least pizza has cheese...which is good for you, calcium and all), I can understand how she may have concluded that it was all right. See, when you're on a perpetual diet, you play mind games with yourself. You can argue (to yourself) that one cupcake is okay on a special occasion (e.g. a friend's child's party). You can justify eating this or that just once is perfectly fine. And it is, when you're not actively trying to lose weight. You're just sabotaging yourself when you reach for something like a cupcake. But you do it anyway...common sense be damned. This in itself is what makes dieting so difficult. It's not just the physical addiction to food, it's all the mental b.s. that goes with it. Until you fix your head, you won't be able to fix your body. Now if only there was a "For Dummies" book for THAT....