Good Riddance

For the last few posts I’ve been talking about how big my clothes are. Yes, they were still somewhat wearable…my pants weren’t around my knees or anything...but last weekend I discovered that I could pull down my jeans without unbuttoning them and my shirts were all starting to look like throwbacks to Flashdance. So I decided to take the plunge and give most of my wardrobe away to a friend. I got rid of almost everything (with the exception of t-shirts and a few sundresses, etc.)…even gave her some winter duds that I know will be WAY too big by the time they’re back in season in AZ. There’s no turning back now. When I told my mom she said, “Maybe you should’ve held onto them…just in case” to which I replied, “no, no, no, no, NO!” I will never be that weight again ~ trust me. So I went to Target (where else does one buy cheap, disposable clothes?) and got myself THREE pairs of drawstring linen pants in - WAIT FOR IT - size MEDIUM and a pair of size 10 jeans. I have bought exactly one pair of size 10 pants in the last several years and I have to believe they just ran big. It's these little milestones that keep me going, kids.

I never get that. You hear about people losing 80 lbs. or 100 lbs. or even more and then gaining it all back. And although I’ve gained back lost weight many, many times, we're talking about 15 or 20 lbs. – not 100! It seems implausible; like if you gained back 10 you’d say to yourself “self - this is not good…must start diet again”. Maybe that is the real difference between “dieting” and permanently changing your eating/drinking habits. If you start eating pizza and tacos for every meal again, you will gain it back. As I’ve said before, so much of losing weight is a state of mind. I'd argue that at least 85% of it is mentality. If you’re not “ready” mentally to lose the weight, you won’t…at least not long-term. You can do the "work" but you won't make it for the long haul and you won't keep it off. I think that’s why losing it slowly and still indulging here and there helps to really ingrain good eating habits into your daily life and keeps you from falling off the wagon and doing irreparable damage later.

Speaking of indulging – I did enjoy a few adult beverages last Saturday night. I had two Leine's Summer Shandys and a vodka soda. Now for the (really) bad part. I made a Tombstone pizza and ate half in my muddled state. When Sunday morning rolled around, I had a massive headache. That’s what happens when you drink as little/rarely as I do. I was over at my parents’ house in the pool and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew what I had to do. I don’t keep soda in my house anymore (for good reason) but the 'rents do. I had a Pepsi Max (no calories, no sugar). No kidding. It really helped my headache and it was nice to drink something other than water or carbonated water for a change but I also found it sickly sweet and didn’t even finish the whole can. There you go. I feel much better having confessed my sin - as usual. I wanted a Diet Coke yesterday (here we go again…) but didn’t have one. And I know I won’t have any again for a long time…or at least for the foreseeable future.

Was down to 159 today. Like I said, slow but steady.