Too Hot to do Anything Other than Eat and Drink...

Boy, I'm just failing all over the place here. I keep meaning to post something but I have not lost any weight...well, really...and I am feeling less-than-inspired these days. There I go again ~ making excuses.

I weighed in at 158.4 yesterday. Aside from last month when I had the stomach flu, that's the lowest I've been since I started this blog. The funny thing is (not haha funny - but you know...) that I haven't been working out at all and I haven't really been watching what I eat either. I'm somehow maintaining the weight loss to-date, thankfully. People keep commenting that I look thinner but I have to assure them that alas, I am not. So for that, I am thankful too. I always say "better to look good than to feel good".

I don't know what it is about summer. Most people experience more weight issues/gain in the winter...particularly in MN (where I'm from) and other cold states. There's not much to do in the winter time there other than curl up with a good book and a big bowl of beef stew. I used to gain 10 lbs. every winter and then it would fall right off in the Spring once it started getting nice outside and I could leave the couch. Maybe I'm just experiencing the reverse in AZ. I'm not as active this time of year (too darn hot to be outside unless you're floating in the pool...and we all know how many calories THAT burns)...Then add the constant BBQs, margaritas, etc. etc. and it becomes a real challenge to lose weight (or even maintain) in the summer here. During the winter however, us Phoenicians become more active and the temptation to cool your core temperature with a Blue Moon (or several) dissipates.

I will say this though - even though I'm not losing, I haven't really gained either. I find that I am making better decisions now and that even when I eat something "bad", I eat less of it. Hey - that must count for something!

On another note, I'm back on the juice...er, Diet Coke. Not full-time, but I have had one or two a week. I can honestly say now that it doesn't seem to have an effect one way or another. I do crave sweets less though when I don't have that sugary aspartame coursing through my veins. I actually bought a 20 oz. bottle a few weeks ago, took 3 sips and threw the rest out. It tastes much more bitter now and I usually don't finish an entire can. Good news for my bones anyway.

Wrong Way Bozo

Okay, I'll be honest. I have been dreading writing this post for about a week now. Yes, I'm up a few EL-BEES but that's not really the reason for my dread. I am really embarrassed at this point at my apparent "falling off the wagon". I know every dieter has her ups and downs but I am in a true slump here. I used to be able to muster up enthusiasm at the prospect of starting anew and now it is fleeting, if it appears at all. I am up four-and-a-half lbs. since my last post. Yep, that's two-and-a-quarter lbs. per week...not an easy feat. I won't make excuses here because I have none. Yes, I ate and drank all kinds of naughty things over the long weekend and no, I didn't exercise (except for once). In my (attempt at a misguided) defense, I decided to kick my exercise plan up a notch and jog on the treadmill for 30 minutes rather than walking. By later that afternoon, I had serious hip pain. By the next morning, I felt so stiff I could barely walk and actually had to take two doses of Advil. Pathetic. Now that I think about it, my husband didn't seem all that surprised at how out of shape I really am. Curses.

I have felt really miserable physically these past few weeks. The more "junk" I eat, the worse I feel, yet I keep doing it. I'm like a robot who is pre-programmed to put fatty crap in my mouth. I consciously know (I actually THINK about it) before I eat that big ol' bowl of pasta (or whatever crap happens to be placed to my lips at the moment) that I will regret it...yet I do it anyway. And to make matters worse, I continue to eat it even when I'm full...as if finishing said meal will prove some kind of depraved point that I really am the world's most rebellious dieter. It's really maddening. Again with the self-sabotage. I mean really...seriously? I wish you could hear the loud sigh I just let out. That about sums it up people.

As for how to get back on track, I wish I knew. I guess tomorrow is yet another day. That's the good news. I promise you this though...no matter how futile my attempts to lose weight may be in the future, I will keep writing about it here - and with more consistency than I have these past couple of weeks (my computer really was down but is fixed now). Hooray!